The more I learn, the less I understand.
Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.
~cute summer xanga quote
Walk up to a girl and say, "You know, this is a psychic watch, and right now it says that you aren't wearing any underwear... Oops! Sorry, it's running a hour early again"
Mirrors can't talk. Luckily for you they can't laugh either.
The future will be better tomorrow.~Dan Quayle
~sweet saying by Funny Guy
The "Psychic Friends Network" went out of business... didn't they see it coming?
A comfortable falsehood will always win out over an uncomfortable truth.
Whoever coined the phrase "Quiet as a mouse" has never stepped on one.
You know you're getting old when being a little hippie does not have the same meaning as it did in the 60's.
~cute summer xanga quote
Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.
No matter where you go
Dictators ride to and fro upon tigers which they dare not dismount. And the tigers are getting hungry.~Winston Churchill
~sweet saying by Funny Guy
If you're the low man on the totem pole, just remember that if it wasn't for you the damn thing would fall over.
If you held up 11 roses in front of a mirror, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.
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When I saw others straining toward God, I did not understand it, for though I may have had him less than they did, there was no one blocking the way between him and me, and I could reach his heart easilyIt is up to him, after all, to have us, our part con
He is also partly idle who could be better employed.
Dream as if you’ll live forever. Live as if you’ll die today
Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories
A big tree attracts the gale.