A good teacher stretches his students. A good student stretches his teacher.
~Funny Guy
It has been said that the primary function of schools is to impart enough facts to make children stop asking questions. Some, with whom the schools do not succeed, become scientists.~Knut Schmidt-Nielson
~Cute Girl
A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard
~Funny Guy
I don't mind if you sleep in class. Only, please do not snore. You are disturbing others who are trying to sleep.~Dr. C. Rao, UW-Whitewater
~Funny Guy
'Where's your sense of adventure?' 'At home in bed where every good sense of adventure should be at 7:30 AM' -overheard in calculus class
~Funny Guy
Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in the long run.~Mark Twain
~Cute Girl
In a large auditorium at university, the lecturer began by saying, 'If you can't hear me up at the back, put your hands up.' A row of hands went up...
~Cute Girl
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
~Cute Girl
B2 Hamerschlag: We're the best freshman floor this year, and at the rate we're going, we'll be the best freshman floor next year, too.
~Cute Girl
Homework is just an excuse to make kids work at home.~Shawn P.
~Funny Guy
A typical class in high school: show up, get rid of your homework, get new homework, leave.
~Funny Guy
Prof Rule #1: Never turn the lights out in a lecture hall with students near the door.
~Cute Girl
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
~Funny Guy
To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
~Cute Girl
For those who had not passed their latin vocabulary test for the day there was afternoon makeup. With the teacher slightly hidden behind the room door writing on the blackboard a slightly tardy student entered. Glancing about the room hurriedly he said in a loud voice 'Were is the old goat?'. From behind the door came a soft, bleating, baaaaa.
~Cute Girl
'The juvenile sea squirt wanders through the ocean searching for a suitable rock or hunk of coral to cling to and make its home for life. When it finds its spot and takes root, it doesn't need its brain any more...so it eats it. It's rather like getting tenure.'~Michael Scriven
~Funny Guy
Define the Universe and give three examples.~Anonymous
~Cute Girl
A university is what a college becomes when the faculty loses interest in students.~John Ciardi
~Funny Guy
(on a lecturer's door): The probability of finding me in this office is inversely proportional to the magnitude of your urgency.
~Funny Guy
Information was delivered like a ruptured fire hose~spraying in all directions with no way to stop it!~Comment on a class survey.
~Cute Girl
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If you are neutral in situations of injustice, you have chosen the side of the oppressorIf an elephant has its foot on the tail of a mouse and you say that you are neutral, the mouse will not appreciate your neutrality
Macho does not prove mucho
God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them
If you ever get a thought of quitting, first count your blessings. You’ll discover you have plenty. Your true wealth is what you have left when you lose all your material wealth.
He that shuts love out, in turn shall be Shut out from love, and on her threshold lie, Howling in outer darkness