Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I had to kill because they pissed me off
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
~cute girlie quote
Grandchildren are God's reward for not killing your children.
'Fuck it, he's dead!' Dr. Octagon
I laughed my butt off and I had a few inches to spare. Thanks!!
~sweet saying by Cool Pickup
You know, I have one simple request, and that is to have sharks with freakin' laser beams attached to their heads. Now evidently my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here!~Dr. Evil
Cole's Axiom: The sum of the intelligence on the planet is a constant. The population is growing.
A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.
But I love gatherings. Isn't it ironic?~Clerks
~cute girlie quote
Nothing in life can hurt you except yourself, and of course barbed wire, but thats another story.
Above all else: Sky.
Give your child mental blocks for Christmas.
~sweet saying by Cool Pickup
When I die bury me upside down so the world can kiss my ass.
Little girls grow to become young women. Little boys have a job for life!
Suicide is the most sincere form of self criticism.
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Anyone with an ailment or who wears glasses or anyone slightly different suddenly wears a bull's eye. I think that dodgeball derailed an entire generation of Americans. It's the true red menace
If it weren't for Philo T. Farnsworth, inventor of television, we'd still be eating frozen radio dinners.
Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind
Nobody in football should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein
We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.