Officer: 'Why did you shoot that terrorist 27 times?' SAS Trooper's reply: 'I ran out of bullets, sir'
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever.
~cute gangsta quote
Here's a secret tip for X-files fans: Drink two bottles of vodka. You'll invariably wake up in a strange place with all recollections of the previous nights events mysteriously "erased".
Sorry I missed church, I've been busy practicing witchcraft and becoming a lesbian.
Even a broken watch shows the right time twice a day.
~sweet saying by Socio
A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.~Bert Leston Taylor
All Scottish food is based on a dare.
Can atheists get insurance for acts of God?
Help stamp out and abolish redundancy!
~cute gangsta quote
Are my undies showing? Answer: No. You: Would you like them to?
I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.
A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it.~Oscar Wilde
~sweet saying by Pretty Cute
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
Who are these kids and why are they calling me Mom?
My other auto is a 9MM.
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Goodbye, goodbye, I hate the wordSolitude has long since turned brown and withered, sitting bitter in my mouth and heavy in my veins
Live a balanced life - Learn some and think some, and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some
Ronaldo is always very close to being either onside or offside
Kindness is the greatest wisdom
Love is a force more formidable than any other. It is invisible - it cannot be seen or measured, yet it is powerful enough to transform you in a moment, and offer you more joy than any material possession could.