Cute funny quotes

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Random funny quotes

   'When you got them by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.'~Charles W. Colson
  ~Pretty Cute

   Justice will only be achieved when those who are not injured by crime feel as indignant as those who are.~King Solomon
  ~Cool Girl

   You've got to stand for something or you'll fall for anything.
  ~Cool Girl

   $100 placed at 7 percent interest compounded quarterly for 200 years will increase to more than $100,000,000~by which time it will be worth nothing.~Robert A. Heinlein
  ~Pretty Cute

   You have to watch out for yourself, because nobody else is going to. Especially during dodgeball.
  ~Cool Girl

   Americans are benevolently ignorant about Canada, while Canadians are malevolently well-informed about the United States.~J. Bartlett Brebner
  ~Pretty Cute

   Oh, well. She's dead. Let's move on, shall we?~Willy Wonka
  ~Funny Man

   Anyone who lives within their means suffers from a lack of imagination.~Oscar Wilde
  ~Pretty Cute

   Winston, you are drunk.~Lady Astor
  ~Pretty Cute

   They couldn't hit an elephant at this dist...~General John Sedgwick, Union commander in the Civil War, speaking his last words as he was watching enemy troops during the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.
  ~Pretty Cute

   There won't be anything we won't say to people to try and convince them that our way is the way to go.~Bill Gates
  ~Funny Man

   Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.~Will Rogers (1879-1935)
  ~Pretty Cute

   I keep my ideals, because in spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart.~Anne Frank
  ~Pretty Cute

   For producing everything out of nothing, one principle is enough (omnibus ex nihil ducendis sufficit unum)
  ~Pretty Cute

   'Ninety-nine percent of the people in the world are fools, and the rest of us are in great danger of contagion.' -Thornton Wilder
  ~Pretty Cute

   Have you any idea how successful censorship is on TV? Don't know the answer? Hmm. Successful. Isn't it?~Max Headroom
  ~Pretty Cute

   Work like you don't need the money. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody is looking.'
  ~Cool Girl

   If stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?~Will Rogers
  ~Funny Man

   Channeling is just bad ventriloquism. You use another voice, but people can see your lips moving.~Penn Jillette
  ~Pretty Cute

   '... i am nothing if not critical' W. Shakespeare Othello
  ~Pretty Cute

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A friend is one before whom I may think aloud.

If you have it [love], you don't need to have anything else, and if you don't have it, it doesn't matter much what else you have

Riches, that star that dazzles men eyes, is aiming and self-rule in perfect disguise.

In the future, how we gather, manage and use information will determine whether we succeed or fail

Those who won our independence believed liberty to be the secret of happiness and courage to be the secret of liberty

I have an attitude and I'm not afraid to use it.