It know it hurts. Maybe not as much as jumping on a bicycle without a seat, but it hurts.~Lt. Frank Drebin, The Naked Gun
~Socio
Bald Guys never have a bad hair day.
~Socio
He's as fast as the Lead Cat in a dog sled Team
~Socio
Don't worry about bad days, there are going to be plenty more of them.
~Socio
'Garfield do you think I can be tall dark and handsome?' 'Sure, turn out the lights, stand on a chair and lie.'
~Socio
You can't fly if you're not happy.
~Socio
May the forces of evil become lost and confused on the way to your house.
~Socio
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
~Socio
May you be in heaven a half hour before the Devil knows your dead.
~Socio
May the Good Lord take a liking to you... but not too soon.
~Socio
Even a broken watch shows the right time twice a day.
~Socio
May you live as long as you want~and never want as long as you live.
~Socio
No matter how bad it gets, if you're still alive it's just another bad day.
~Socio
As you slide down the banister of life, may their be no splinters pointing the wrong way.
~Socio
The person who knows how to laugh at himself will never cease to be amused.
~Socio
Even the blind squirrel finds a nut occasionally.
~Socio
May the saddest day of you future be no worse than the happiest day of your life.
~Socio
Let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
~Socio
What would you attempt to do, If you knew you couldn't fail?
~Socio
Never frown because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
~Socio
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I just thought of something funny...your mother
The good news: Computers allow us to work 100% faster. The bad news: They generate 300% more work
If you were plowing a field, which would you rather use? Two strong oxen or 1024 chickens?
Find a job for your hands and your nerves will find a job for themselves.
The Pilgrims made seven times more graves than hutsNo Americans have been more impoverished than these who, nevertheless, set aside a day of thanksgiving