Random children quotes

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   I love children, especially when they cry, for then someone takes them away
  ~Nancy Mitford

   If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either.
  ~Dick Cavett

   Experts say you should never hit your children in anger. When is a good time? When you're feeling festive
  ~Roseanne Barr

   I've got seven kids, the three words you hear most around my house are: "Hello, goodbye, and I'm pregnant
  ~Dean Martin

   Children really brighten up a household - they never turn the lights off
  ~Ralph Bus

   We spend the first twelve months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up
  ~Phyllis Diller

   To be a successful father there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years
  ~Ernest Hemingway

   There are only two things a child will share willingly -- communicable diseases and his mother's age
  ~Benjamin Spock

   When children are doing nothing, they are doing mischief
  ~Henry Fielding

   The trouble with children is that they're not returnable
  ~Quentin Crisp

   Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.
  ~Bill Cosby

   Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex
  ~Bill Maher

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It's easier to ask forgiveness than it is to get permission

Make sure to send a lazy man the angel of death

When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost

I'm an experienced woman; I've been around... well, alright, I might not've been around, but I've been... nearby.

The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention