Cute advice quotes

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   If you lend someone $20, and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  ~Wise Guy

   If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
  ~Wise Guy

   Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.
  ~Wise Guy

   Never pet a burning dog.
  ~Cool Girl

   Never ask the barber if you need a haircut or a salesman if his is a good price.
  ~Cool Girl

   Eat a live toad in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.
  ~Wise Guy

   Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way you're a mile away, and you have their shoes too.
  ~Wise Guy

   When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
  ~Cool Girl

   The act of giving is more important than the merit of the receiver.
  ~Cool Girl

   Never say 'OOPS!' Always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
  ~Cool Girl

   Don't believe everything you think.
  ~Wise Guy

   If you put your nose to the grindstone, you'll get a flat face.
  ~Wise Guy

   If someone shows you who they are, believe them.
  ~Wise Guy

   Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue.
  ~Parents

   There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
  ~Cool Girl

   It is better to give a rock out of love than a diamond out of duty.
  ~Cool Girl

   If you see a snake, just kill it. Don't appoint a committee on snakes.~H. Ross Perot
  ~Wise Guy

   Do not hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit softly.~Theodore Roosevelt
  ~Wise Guy

   Don't let yesterday take up to much of today.
  ~Wise Guy

   There are very few problems that cannot be solved by orders ending with 'or die.'~Alistair J.R. Young
  ~Cool Girl

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A Christmas gambol oft could cheer The poor man's heart through half the year.

Any idea, plan, or purpose may be placed in the mind through repetition of thought.

Excellence is an art won by training and habituation. We do not act rightly because we have virtue or excellence, but we rather have those because we have acted rightly. We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

I have always been crazy, but it kept me from going insane.